"November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year," said Margaret, standing at the window one dull afternoon, looking out at the frost-bitten garden.
"That's the reason I was born in it," observed Jo pensively, quite unconscious of the blot on her nose.
"If something very pleasant should happen now, we should think it a delightful month," said Beth, who took a hopeful view of everything, even November.
From Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott
Whether your November is proving to be disagreeable or delightful, I'd like to propose something pleasant to brighten it up. It's been on my mind for some years now, inspired in part by watching the BBC version of Antiques Roadshow, of all things. I much prefer the British version of this show to the American, as my interest in Mickey Mouse memorabilia and Civil War guns is limited. I'd far rather see Anne Boleyn's prayer book and some spoons given to a lady in waiting by Queen Victoria. I love how casually (and even dismissively sometimes) the expert says that something is Georgian and how the owner doesn't faint with surprise at how ancient it is. But what I love the most is the provenance information. On the U.S. version of the show, most often people find their treasures at a yard sale or in a shop. On the British show, you'll often hear that something was "left me by my aunt." (If I drank, I'd make this a drinking game.) Fabulous stuff, too -- sets of china and amazing needlework and gorgeous jewelry and precious old books.
So I was thinking about my own treasures, my china and my books and such, and who will get them when I'm gone and what they will think about it. I don't have children, but I do have four nieces, one nephew, one grand-niece and one grand-nephew. I assume that some of my possessions will filter down to them, and it's nice to think that someday they might pour someone a cup of tea in one of my old china cups and say, "My Aunt Loonie left me this..."
Jumping on that train of thought and riding further, I got to thinking about aunts in general. Specifically, spinster aunts. I've had long-term partnerships in my life, but I've never married, nor do I see it happening in this lifetime. I like the term "spinster" and want to reclaim it as a valid choice for women who claim their independence. This isn't a default position for women who can't catch a man. Many spinsters are passionate and intimately connected to loved ones -- as Joni Mitchell would say, they love their loving, but not like they love their freedom. Spinsters should be celebrated and recognized for their contributions and their courage. It can be hard to be on your own! There are challenges both tangible and emotional. But the rewards are rich as well.
We have Mother's Day and Father's Day and even Grandparents Day. I hereby propose Spinster Aunts Day, the third Friday in November (that's today!). I chose November for our day in honor of Jo March, and of her creatrix, mighty spinster aunt Louisa May Alcott, whose birthday is indeed in November. You can help get the spinning wheel spinning by sending greetings to your favorite spinsters. Take them out to dinner! Buy them fabulous presents! (Gift certificates to Amazon.com are always appropriate -- spinsters are great readers, as a rule.) Proudly declare yourself a spinster aunt too. You don't even have to have actual nieces or nephews -- spinster aunt is a state of mind. A lively, creative, feisty, affectionate, eccentric, original, and above all, independent state of mind. Happy Spinster Aunts Day!
i was pretty happy to be a spinster (i guess when you're still young it's just 'single' which isn't as descriptive at all!) before i got married.
A part of me still wants to be one when i grow up. :)
This lady who lent us her land for our wedding (so we could plant a bunch of trees on it) is well into her 80's and never married and i could tell how strong and interesting it had made her. how many opportunities to be herself life had provided that wouldn't have been there if she'd married (especially in her time). and i felt the impact of that on decidng to get married for myself - that i was potentially making it harder for me to be as much of myself as possible in a lifetime.
I digress. All of this is to say, that I love the idea of spinster aunt day. I *have* a china tea cup i got from an great aunt. I still use (though lost just yesterday) a wallet belonging to my great grandmother who i share my intitials with.
and i hope, even after a long life of married bliss, that i still have a spinster aunt state of mind!
:)
Posted by: erinsings | November 21, 2008 at 11:41 AM
I LOVE this idea!!! It's funny because even though I'm married and have a child (and am expecting another in the late winter), I'm an October Scorpio and very much identify with the "eccentric old aunt" motif. Jo March has always been one of my idols, as have other famous spinsters (literary and otherwise) like the Witch of Blackbird Pond or Ellen Burstyn's character as you see her at the end of the movie "Resurrection" etc.
And some of my most treasured,unique, and commented on household items are courtesy of a "spinster" uncle who passed away on the eve of my Nov wedding 13 years ago. He a was a "greatest generation" gay man of the "don't ask/don't tell" variety, and died without children or a long-term partner. So in his will, this lifelong multi-talented artist (sketcher, painter, sculptor., collector etc etc), who also served as an army medic during WWII in Africa and other exotic locations basically left most of his more unusual odds 'n ends goodies up for grabs for whoever in the family wanted them most. I was so tickled when no one else in the family was weird enough to want the things that I did LOL. The woodstove that warms my family's bones through the winter is another one of the treasured gifts I got from him.
So YES!!! Viva Lunaea and all of the other wonderful spinster Aunts and Uncles out there - those both in the flesh and those who have passed, as well as those in literature, movies and myth - from the children whose lives you've enriched.
MWAH! XOXOXO and Blessed, Blessed Be on your Special Day!
:-)
Posted by: P | November 21, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Oh, Pilar, you bring up a great part of Spinster Aunts Day -- naming as many wonderful spinsters as you can think of, real-life, literary, whatever. Bring 'em on, everyone! Sing their praises!
Posted by: Lunaea | November 21, 2008 at 12:02 PM
I'm declaring myself a recently born again spinster since I just finalized my neverending divorce! I agree whole heartedly. I've never felt more powerful since being spinsterized and even though I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man I'm shocked at how strongly I feel about staying single at this point in my life.
Posted by: heather | November 21, 2008 at 02:48 PM
When I was in art college, oh so many years ago,in the 60's, I had a teacher who had a profound affect on me. She's still alive(in her 90's?)but even back then she had grey hair in a long perky pony-tail and was considered an eccentric spinster type. She took us to her home (on the wild bluffs overlooking Lake Ontario) that she had built herself, with her own two(incredibly talented) hands. It had an organic and female feel about it.. dark and warm, rounded corners, wood and bricks, fireplaces and birdfeeders. I was awestruck. She became my hero, and has remained so. She never married but she travelled all over the world painting, became famous, wrote several books, and was awarded the Governor General's Award of Canada. I think, personally, that most importantly.. she inspired a whole generation of Canadian women to embrace independence(whether they married or not). I saw a picture of her skating(in a little skirt and leggings)on her 'home-made'pond at 83. Here's to Doris McCarthy and all the Fabulous women like her.
Posted by: judy | November 22, 2008 at 10:35 AM
Judy, what a great role model for you (and other women) to have! I just Googled Doris McCarthy and found some lovely info, including a link to her website. Those paintings of icebergs are amazingly beautiful! Yay, Doris!
Posted by: Lunaea | November 22, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Hmm, I own a spinning wheel and I love to spin... does that make me a spinster too?
Spinning is a fantastic meditation capable of bringing the spinner to heightened states of awareness...easy to span (and spin) between the worlds...
Happy November to you!
Posted by: Aurora | November 22, 2008 at 05:26 PM
Oooh - and how could I forget Peace Pilgrim!
Posted by: P | November 23, 2008 at 07:09 PM
Lunaea, wonderful idea!! I, too, had a spinster aunt, whom I loved more than anyone--even my mom. Aunt Emma was a surgical nurse. She taught me to read when I was three and encouraged me to be myself. I have an antique cranberry glass and crystal pitcher engraved with her name. I also have the nursing pin she received when she graduated in 1915. I was also gifted with a "visit" from her after she died. But above all else I have wonderful memories of my aunt and I can still feel her love and presence in my life.
Love, Rue
Posted by: Rue | November 24, 2008 at 11:15 AM
I love this blog!
Posted by: Luciana Onofre | November 25, 2008 at 03:42 AM
Oh, I love this idea, and i know enough spinsters to have empty pockets by the end of the next 12 days. Now what i need is a website with free email cards for
spinsters day.
I need to send out..um..4..no,7....wait 9...make that 10, Would have to send you one as well for the brilliance of the idea!
Posted by: Sorrow | November 08, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Oh, but spinster aunts prefer real paper cards, preferably handmade. We promise to display them proudly! :-)
Posted by: Lunaea | November 08, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Goddess your right!
sigh
Okay okay!
I'm on it!
Posted by: Sorrow | November 11, 2009 at 09:13 AM
Wasn't Jane Austen another great spinster aunt?
Posted by: Claire | November 18, 2011 at 03:08 PM
Once again, your brilliance shines, and just when skies are so gray. I love it! My Aunt Wilda was super. I sometimes feel judged by those who are married but I laugh at their pity. I regret very little in life and among those few regrets you won't find "not having my own babies" or "not staying married." I will forever be ESM (evil step-mother) to my ex's daughter and now I am ESGM to her daughter. I love my nieces and look foreward to bringing them plenty of stories of adventure and gifts their parents would never give them. As for the term "spinster" I'm thinking of one who spins. And being free of some of the usual family obligations we can spin pretty much whatever we like, when we like. My spinster Aunt Lilian loved to travel. My spinster Aunt Wilda loved to take us for ice cream at the Dairy. She always had the butter pecan which I thought was quite exotic.
Posted by: Callista | November 18, 2011 at 04:06 PM